Thursday, April 28, 2011

A bit of heartache

I have been on the phone a lot today; scheduling appointments, calling the insurance company, and so on. I took Chad into the doctor last Thursday and he said what I have been thinking for a while now, "I am seeing some things that Gibson started doing at this age that concern me Callie". Oh goodness, and there go the waterworks. I have talked about this with Gerod, our small group and even on the blog but I guess I kept thinking and hoping that it was something else. Maybe there is a hearing issue? Maybe he is just mimicking behaviors that he sees in Gibson?

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but I kind of feel in my heart that something is off. I keep telling myself that I CANT do this! I CANT have 2 children with Autism, I just CANT. However in the same breath I hear God telling me that I CAN and that he chose me for a reason.

Chad will be evaluated in September to find out for sure if it is anything Autism related or just a speech delay or hearing problems. I don't know what the outcome will be, I am not a doctor, but I cant seem to shake that nagging feeling I have like I got with Gibson.

Something just isn't right here.

Some days I think about it and I cry, the tears flow and I just cant seem to shake them. There are other days when I can talk out loud about my thoughts and fears and not even shed one single tear.
All I know is that for some reason God knows I am strong enough to handle this. I don't know if I believe it, but God only gives us what we can handle. I know that there is some divine purpose to all of this and maybe one of these days I will find out the true plan.

Until that time I cherish everything that is going on with my children. Gerod and I couldn't be more pleased with the progress that Gibson is showing, and we are ready for Chad to get started on his journey of therapy as well. Our first meeting with Sooner Start in Tuesday, May 10th. We will get an evaluation from them on the kinds of services that Chad will receive (I know he will qualify) and then we can finally get the ball rolling.

I should be getting a call back from the doctor who will see Gibson soon to get him evaluated for ADHD. I have thought that ADHD might be another issue for Gibson but had been reluctant to ask our pediatrician if we could get him evaluated, but as soon as I brought it up he agreed that it would be good to get Gibson tested and gave me two doctors numbers on the spot. *I love our pediatrician by the way, he is AWESOME!*

So anyway, that is what is going on here! We have a lot on our plate right now and we are just trying to take it all in.
I know I have promised MANY times to keep this thing up to date, and I promise yet again that I will get better about it. I think sometimes I stretch myself a bit thin and I need to sit down and re-evaluate some things I have going and maybe give up one or two things to make my days a bit more stress free!

I will keep you all updated on what we find out.

Tomorrow we leave for Texas to visit family. It should be a nice break or us, and LOTS of Mexican food for this Texan born, Texan bred Momma!! I am ready!

Sunday, April 10, 2011


There are sermons that hit you smack dab in the face and make you realize who is really in control.
I very much enjoyed the sermon at our church today in which the Pastor talked about having trust in God. It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks that God is in control, not that I didn't know that before, but sometimes I need to be reminded I guess.
In the sermon our Pastor talked about a book called Sabbatical Journey by Henri Nouwen. In the book the writer talks to trapeze artists and how the "flier" has to trust the "catcher" to catch her. In the same way our Pastor talked about how we must "let go and wait for God". We want to "reach out but we must wait in absolute trust that God will reach out and catch us".
God has his hand in everything! Sometimes I forget that he is right here when I need him. He is here beside me when I have a bad day and feel like I just cant take anymore. He is here with me when I rejoice and he is rejoicing with me. I only hope that I remember to seek God ALL the time, not just when I feel like I need him the most.
I appreciated today's sermon so much with everything we have gone through in the past year with Gibson. God has been right there ready to catch us when we need him the most, I just need to remember that.

P.S. I promise to update with new pictures really soon by the way!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Autism Screening

We had Chad's Autism Screening on Tuesday afternoon. During the screening the screener had him play with toys and tried to get him to interact with her in certain ways and she would score him. After the screening was over we went over his score. She told me that for his age he should score less than a 2.75 and he scored a 2.75. Since he scored right on the cutoff and because Gibson has Autism she suggested we get an evaluation because she is not certified to give a diagnosis.
We have already contacted Sooner Start, the program that Gibson was in until he was 3, and they should be contacting us for his initial evaluation soon. On top of that we will be contacting a few of the doctors here in OKC and possibly the doctor we used in Lubbock to get Chad evaluated.
I feel like we are going through deja vu here in our house right now. Chad and Gibson couldn't be more different if in fact Chad is also on the spectrum, but at least we know more about Autism and have a few more resources this time around in case we get a positive diagnosis for Chad.
I will keep everyone informed of what we find out.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

All about Gibson

I am very sad. Gibson has an AMAZING teacher at his school that does so well with him and I found out recently that she will not be coming back next year. She would have been his teacher for another two years but since she is leaving he will have a new teacher. With our plans of selling the house (which isn't even in the beginning stages of getting an offer right now) we don't know if we should stay in the same school district that we are in or if we should move to a new area. It is so difficult to make decisions that can so greatly effect your child. Gibson truly needs a teacher who can understand his trials and can help him work through them.
I am amazed at the amount of compassion from the teacher he has now and I wonder if we will find such an amazing person again. Can we get that lucky twice? I sure hope so, but in the meantime if you all can be praying that we make the right decisions in Gibson's future schooling. It is something that since we found out that he was on the spectrum has been one of my biggest fears; not getting him in the right place where he can maximize all of the potential that I know is inside him. I think there is a lot of research in my future of other school possibilities.

I also want to say a big thank you to all of our friends and family who wore BLUE yesterday (April 2nd) in honor of National Autism Awareness Day. It is amazing to see everyone show their support of Gibson and our family. We love you all and are so thankful that we have your love and support for Gibson. I know that there are more struggles ahead, but that only means that there will be even more for us to celebrate when those struggles are overcome. We have already come so far in such a short period of time. Thank you all!
We have already started raising money for Autism Speaks and you can access our page here if you want to donate to help fund research for Autism in Gibson's name. This year our goal is to triple our fundraising last year which means I would like to raise $3000 or more! Please help us reach this goal. AND Mark your calendar to walk with us in October. I would love to have 25 or more people walking with us. You need to register if you plan on walking with us.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I am such a bad blogger...

In case you haven't noticed, those of you that actually "follow" my blog, I have been a really bad blogger lately. We have been so busy sometimes I cant even see straight. Not only am I wife, mother of two, Photographer, and Jeweler for Premier Designs but I also just recently started selling Rodan & Fields skin care line. They are an amazing company that I will talk much more about later and if your interested in hearing about the products let me know, but again that's for another post.

Lately things have been going pretty good here. Gibson is doing really good and has only had a few recent tantrums that have been extreme. He is doing well in school and getting better in his new Mothers Day Out program at our church. One of the directors actually gave me the best book the other day called "Autism Alleluias" which is a devotional book written by the mother of an Autistic son. It is really a blessing to read some of these stories and I cant say enough thanks for the generosity of the director who thought enough of me to get me this book.

Chad is doing well too, although we are a bit concerned with his delayed speech and will be getting an evaluation on him on Tuesday. I can talk more about that after we have the evaluation. We also converted Chad's bed to a toddler bed the other day and he is actually doing very well with the change, it is amazing how quickly he adjusts to change.

Gerod and I are doing well too. Just enjoying life with two little men! Its definitely crazy around here but every day is a blessing and even though we don't see it as such sometimes we know how truly blessed we are.

Pictures to come later when it isn't so late and I am not so tired. I better head to bed now because I am taking the boys to the zoo tomorrow morning with some friends. I will be bringing the camera of course and should get lots of pictures of the kiddos!!